Identifying School Phobia

Fall is here, and it is time for your child to be in school. As your daughter gets ready in the morning, you can tell she does not feel well. She seems healthy at other times, and her pediatrician says she is healthy, but something still seems wrong. School phobia could be to blame.

Some children miss lots of school because of vague physical symptoms, such as stomachaches and headaches. The symptoms mainly occur in the morning, and they worsen when it’s time to leave for school — a pattern commonly associated with school phobia.

School-phobic children usually are very close to their parents and find it difficult to separate from them (separation anxiety). It’s similar to homesickness, but school phobia produces symptoms.

To help your child overcome school phobia, enforce the following rules:

1. Insist on regular school attendance. The best therapy for school phobia is to be in school every day. Fears are overcome by facing them as soon as possible. Be optimistic with your child, and reassure her that she will feel better after she gets to school.
2. Be extra firm on school mornings. In the beginning, mornings may be a difficult time, especially Mondays. Never ask your child how she feels because it will encourage her to complain. Remember, if she is well enough to be up and around the house, she is generally well enough to go to school. If your child complains of the usual physical symptoms, she should be sent to school with minimal discussion. Attending school must be a non-negotiable rule.
3. Have your child see her doctor on any morning she stays home. If your child has a new symptom or seems quite sick, keep her home. Call your pediatrician or family doctor as soon as the office opens, and try to schedule an appointment that morning. If the symptom is caused by illness, appropriate treatment can be started. If the symptom is due to school phobia, your child should go back to school before noon.
4. Ask the school staff for assistance. Schools usually are very understanding about school phobia because it is a common problem. If your child has special fears, such as talking in front of the class, the teacher may make special allowances. If the symptoms worsen during class times, ask the school to allow your child to lie down for 10 minutes and regroup rather than sending her home.
5. Talk with your child about any school fears. At a time other than a school morning, talk with your child about her concerns. Encourage her to tell you exactly what upsets her. If there’s a situation you can change, tell her you will work on it, but she must go to school while the problems are being resolved.

If you are firm with your child and make school attendance mandatory, school phobia symptoms should dramatically improve within a week or two.