The holidays are a time for togetherness and memory making, but they can also bring stress, overwhelm and a change of routine. This can lead to disagreement, disappointment and even conflict between family members. Our experts share tips to have a happy, healthy holiday season through mindful eating, staying active, managing family dynamics and more.

Reduce holiday stress

Some holiday stress is inevitable, but rather than passing this stress on to the rest of your family, caregivers can use these moments to teach healthy emotional management. Clinical psychologist Allie Morford, PhD, suggests working on naming the emotion that you’re feeling, and then discussing what action you’ll take to help manage it.

"It’s important that we’re modeling emotion labeling and emotion regulation for kids, so that it’s really clear to them what's going on,” Dr. Morford says.

When you’re upfront about what you’re feeling during the holidays and why, kids are less likely to worry that your sadness, frustration or other emotions are their fault. It also gives them permission to process and express their own emotions in a healthy way.

“You might say something like, ‘I'm feeling really stressed right now, so I need to go take a break. But I'll be back, and we can talk about it,’” Dr. Morford says. “Parents are allowed to feel stressed, to experience all the emotions, and I think it's a nice opportunity for kids to witness what that can look like and how to do it effectively.”

Rethink gifting

Ask yourself if you're buying gifts just to buy gifts, or if they’ll make a meaningful impact. If you do opt to buy, teach kids the meaning of gift giving and ask them to help pick out gifts for family members. This will also help kids understand the thought that goes into gifts they receive from others. If you’re on a budget or want to make presents more meaningful, creating and crafting gifts at home with kids can help them learn about expressing caring and love for others.

Additionally, consider giving time instead of gifts. For example, offer a free night of babysitting or a homemade meal come January. Chances are that your friends and family will remember these meaningful gestures more than something you picked up at the store at the last minute. You can also do a gift exchange, where everyone draws names, and each person buys just one special gift.

Take a step back

Feeling pressure to complete your to-do list and create the perfect holiday for everyone around you?

Take a step back and examine where you can reduce the pressure. For example, turn a holiday dinner you're hosting into a potluck, which can ease some of the burden of cooking. If you must complete a task or errand, find a way to make it enjoyable — have a cookie-baking party or a gift wrapping-palooza with the kids.

Overall, try to remember that it’s OK if you need a break from the holiday chaos or constant social interactions. Being well rested will ensure that you feel your best both physically and mentally. Give yourself and your family permission to turn off phones and close laptops on the weekend or at night. Indulge in some uninterrupted family time through playing board games, cooking together or even volunteering, which can teach kids empathy while fostering kindness and gratitude.

Staying active during the holidays

As cozy as this time of year can be, it can also leave you feeling a bit lethargic and less healthy than usual. Here are some fun ways to get an energy boost during your favorite festive activities, which can improve kids’ mental health and help you make new memories together.

• Participate in a holiday run or walk: Join a community event or make up your own run for your family. Map a route in the neighborhood and hand out festive prizes for all participants.
• Add variety to your workout: During the holidays, you can have fun participating in seasonal outdoor activities such as snowshoeing, sledding, cross-country skiing or ice skating.
• Horse around with the kids: Play tag, keep-away or have a snowball fight. You could also gather family and friends for a game of touch football in the yard.
• Plan a scavenger hunt: Make at least 10 paper cutouts of holiday-themed images. Have someone hide them inside or outside. After dinner, everyone goes on a hunt, and the first person to find the most cutouts wins.
• Get your hands dirty: Gather the family to rake leaves, clear the garden for winter, plant bulbs, build a planter box for next spring, paint the garage or stain the deck. You could also use this as a time to hang holiday lights.
• Take visitors on a tour of your neighborhood: Walk or bike to nearby sites with your kids and be sure to check out the holiday lights or watch the snow fall.

Healthy holiday eating tips

While delighting in food together is a holiday tradition for many, it can be a change in our usual diet. Jerrica Cherry, LPC, a therapist in Children’s Colorado’s Pediatric Mental Health Institute, suggests that caregivers should focus on food acceptance, because we don’t have to limit during the holidays.

“We want to encourage kids to accept that they are likely to overindulge and feel icky after, and help them notice and label that,” Cherry says. “We want caregivers to refrain from commenting on bodies (e.g., ‘Oh, my pants are super tight’) and instead focus on function over form (e.g., ‘I could use a family walk’).”

Additionally, if caregivers are asking kids to moderate their intake or stick to healthy choices, they also need to model that behavior. For instance, you can opt for big glasses of water rather than sugary or high-calorie holiday beverages. It’s common to mistake hunger for thirst, so staying hydrated is especially helpful to our bodies right before sitting down to dinner or heading to a party.

If you're hosting the party this season, consider serving healthier takes on holiday favorites, such as replacing butter with bananas or subbing Greek yogurt for sour cream. This can also be a way to accommodate guests with food allergies or alternative diets for a win-win.

Managing relationships during the holidays

The holidays often involve spending time with extended family members. Since you may only see these people a few times a year, or they might live in a different place, their routines and schedules may look a little different, too.

“There's going to be a different level of stress with people wanting to do things differently than you do,” Dr. Morford says. “Make a plan for how to take breaks if needed when family is there and discuss how to trade off responsibilities. Maybe talk about taking walks with the family while relatives stay back, or how you’ll sit and reconnect with your own family each night.”

In a moment of tension where you might not be able to get away, stop and take a deep breath, filling your belly with air, then let it out through your mouth. Do this a few times to calm yourself down and turn to breathing exercises you can do with your kids to help the whole family unwind.

Set boundaries with family

Healthy holiday planning might also involve setting boundaries around extended family and friends. If you know you only want to be around some people for a certain amount of time, it can help to set a discreet alarm on your phone when you need to head out. You might also decide to meet family out in public if you’re not comfortable having them in your home, and it's also OK to ask extended family not to stay at your house if that protects your own family’s peace of mind.

Instead, you could offer recommendations for places to explore in your town or plan an activity that gets everyone excited. "Figure out what your needs and boundaries are ahead of time so that you can clearly express them,” Dr. Morford says.

If family members will be staying at your house, be sure to talk to kids ahead of time about how this might impact their routines (if grandma will be staying in their room, for example). These disruptions can be reframed as fun parts of the holiday season — like a chance to have a sleepover in the living room next to the Christmas tree.

Handling holiday disappointment, comparison and sadness

One of the best ways to get ahead of present disappointment is to have candid conversations about family values. Dr. Morford suggests using a values discussion worksheet and using these guided values questions to help everyone think deeply about what really matters. There are also card games and activities related to values that can make the lesson more fun and memorable.

Values conversations are also useful for keeping kids grounded when they start comparing themselves to other families, especially on social media. What if a peer gets to go on a Disney vacation or receives something expensive that might not be in your family’s budget? If kids feel disappointed about their gifts, redirecting them toward their values can help, but try to let them feel their emotions without getting angry or trying to intervene.

“Teach kids to label what it is they are feeling,” Dr. Morford says. “Have a direct conversation with them about how it’s OK to feel disappointed, and that they can feel both gratitude and disappointment at the same time.” This can also be an opportunity to teach kids that the world is not always just and fair. Plus, such disappointment can be a helpful way for kids to foster resilience and bounce back stronger.

Supporting kids in illness and grief

Despite the shine and sparkle of winter celebrations, life sometimes makes these events harder to celebrate. If your child is facing an illness, they might get extra tired and need to leave a family gathering early. Or a child with a compromised immune system may need to attend a smaller gathering for their own safety. Maybe you recently experienced the loss of a family member, and it’s your first holiday without them.

Such situations can make kids feel sadness and grief, and that’s OK. Communicating about these feelings and setting expectations upfront with family members is an important way to make sure everyone’s needs are met while still allowing them to join in on the holiday fun. "It can be hard to see in the moment, but these circumstances are building your kids’ resilience and emotional intelligence and distress tolerance,” Dr. Morford says. “This is really valuable long-term for their ability to be uncomfortable and yet still persevere in this world."