One Colorado Fetal Care Center mom, Sarah, shares lessons learned.

When someone you care about receives a high-risk pregnancy diagnosis, it can be an emotional and unexpected shift from what they imagined for their pregnancy and birth. This may mean they’ll have more frequent visits at a specialized center like the Colorado Fetal Care Center, or in some cases, may even need to stay at the hospital leading up to delivery. They may need to adjust their ideal birth plan, and their postpartum experience can look very different than expected — especially if their baby is spending time in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) or requires ongoing medical support.

One mother, Sarah, had to navigate all of this during her time at Children’s Hospital Colorado. She built routines, cultivated a community of support and reclaimed her experience during a difficult time and now is encouraging others to do the same.

From patient to advocate

Sarah first connected with the Colorado Fetal Care Center during her pregnancy with her identical twin girls when she found out one of the twins was severely growth restricted. Her journey started with more frequent outpatient visits to monitor the twin for nutrient intake and growth until she was admitted to our center at 26 weeks pregnant. For six weeks, she balanced life in the hospital awaiting the birth of her girls, continuing to work and supporting a toddler at home. After birth, her girls stayed for two months at Children’s Colorado’s NICU.

Leaning on hospital support

For Sarah, leaning on the support of the teams at the Colorado Fetal Care Center was so important. Our center is structured to provide holistic support for the entire family, not just the mom waiting to give birth. With flexible visiting hours, family, friends and her son were able to regularly stop in and keep her company. 

“Just the fact that my son could come every single day to see me was my saving grace,” Sarah says. “There’s no way I could have been able to do that otherwise.” 

The Child Life team at Children’s Colorado stepped in to make little moments memorable, such as putting together a gift basket to their new big brother from his new little sisters.

“I get chills just thinking about it,” Sarah recalls. “I can’t even put into words how outstanding they were. They were able to do little things that I just didn’t have the mental capacity to do. They were a huge resource for me during that time.”

The center’s antepartum (the time before labor begins) groups helped connect Sarah with other moms who have shared a similar, unique experience.

“It was really a wonderful opportunity to just have dialogue with somebody else who gets it because I think this is such a unique circumstance,” Sarah says. “It can be an incredibly isolating experience.”

Tips for supporting your loved ones

Looking back on her journey, Sarah shares her lessons learned and meaningful ways that friends and family can help their loved ones feel supported during their pregnancy and postpartum.

Check in regularly

A quick text letting them know you’re thinking about them can make a big difference. Prioritize asking how the mom is doing — not just how the baby is — and listen without trying to fix anything. If you’re nearby, offer to visit, especially if your friend or family member is staying at our care center while waiting to give birth.

“It’s a shock to the system,” Sarah says about being diagnosed with a high-risk pregnancy. “One of the things that helped me the most was people just checking in on me and being consistent. It’s really tough for outsiders and a lot of times people don’t know what to say and that can be uncomfortable. But checking in on me and my mental health was hugely important for me, especially when it’s not all about the babies because that’s what a lot of your life is about when you’re admitted."

Educate yourself

Take the time to research and learn about your loved one’s diagnosis, so you can jump right into the conversation. This helps take the mental burden to educate in conversations off of the family.

“I was always very grateful when family did take the time to look up things themselves because the constant reiteration of what you’re going through when it’s difficult to talk about can be exhausting,” Sarah says.

Follow their lead

Support means showing up in ways that feel good for them. Ask before offering advice or sharing stories and avoid trying to always find a silver lining — this experience is hard, and it is okay for them to sit with that feeling.

“Really think about asking choice-led questions,” Child and adolescent psychiatrist Heather Buxton, MD, says. “So rather than saying, ‘let me plan a baby shower,’ you could say, ‘Is a baby shower something you still want? Can we help you make it work in this situation? It’s okay if you don’t want that anymore.’”

Encourage them to reclaim their experience in the hospital

If they are staying at the hospital waiting to give birth, help them personalize their space or create small rituals — like an uplifting playlist, a walking routine or a video call schedule with loved ones. These touches can bring comfort and a sense of control during a time that can feel chaotic.

“I’m really passionate about helping people reclaim some autonomy and have some feeling of control while they are hospitalized antepartum,” Sarah says. “How do you develop a birth plan amidst an admittance? What does that look like? What are some things that you can do to feel like it's still your own personal beautiful experience even though you know it's going to be different.”

Offer support for their partner or other kids at home

High-risk pregnancies impact the whole family too when one parent might suddenly have to stay at the hospital for several weeks. This support could look like checking in on their partner, offering to help with errands, grocery deliveries, meal drops offs, childcare support or cleaning.

Help them build a sustainable support system after the hospital

It can feel like a rough transition going back to life at home after staying for weeks or months in the hospital which has built-in support systems. Having support in place for life after the NICU can help ease that transition. Offer to coordinate a meal train, research postpartum resources or help schedule shifts with friends for help after baby arrives. Long-term support matters just as much as short-term help.

In partnership with Dr. Buxton and others at the Colorado Fetal Care Center, Sarah’s goal is to work with other moms more closely to prepare them for this journey and support them through their experience. Inspired by her experience, she earned a certificate as a perinatal behavioral health coach and launched her own business to offer coaching to moms going through a similar journey.