Talking to Kids About Politics: A Guide to Democracy and Conflict Resolution

During election season, discussions about candidates and political or social issues can become heated.

Children might become stressed and anxious when they observe tense discussions between adults in their lives. Older kids and teens might start developing their own opinions, which may differ from their family’s viewpoints and cause conflict with loved ones. Overhearing news coverage can make kids curious about certain issues, and they may start asking tough questions.

The good news is that election season can prompt useful discussions with children and teens about our system of government and civic responsibility. We’ve put together a guide from Zack Zaslow, Children’s Hospital Colorado’s Vice President of Advocacy and Community Health, and Ellen Stern, Director of Government Affairs, who share tips on navigating these conversations about politics in an age-appropriate way.

Help kids understand democracy (and why it’s important to vote)

It’s common for parents and caregivers to avoid talking to kids about politics. However, Zaslow suggests engaging kids in democracy in a way they can understand. For instance, you can talk about certain rules you have inside the household and how there are also rules at a societal level. Explain that voting is a way to choose who makes and enforces those rules.

“We live in a democracy and instilling that civic culture of paying attention, knowing what's going on and participating in your choice of government is something that even young kids should be able to understand at a basic level,” Zaslow says.

Similarly, you can start asking kids about societal rules that might apply to them, so they can understand how laws influence their daily lives. “What do kids need when it comes to being healthy and strong? Where can they safely ride their bikes? How fast are cars allowed to drive? Who is in charge of healthy foods at schools? Do they need to make sure that they have health insurance so they can go see the doctor or therapist?” Zaslow says.

Ask your children what some good laws for kids would be. Ask them to consider, if they were in charge, how they might make a positive change. Encouraging kids to think about this early can help them understand the democratic process and increase the chances they’ll head to the polls when they turn 18. Keep in mind that in Colorado, voter registration begins in high school and our state encourages pre-registration of all eligible voters beginning at age 16.

Foster discussion of values

At their core, political beliefs stem from personal beliefs, and talking to kids about politics should start there. "At a very basic level, a healthy conversation about politics should also include a discussion about values,” Stern says. “As members of a community, we get to make decisions about who we think is most closely aligned to our values and is going to pursue the best things for kids and families."

Framing politics in this way can make it easier to navigate discussions about what choices or policies seem fair or moral in a way that children and youth can understand. “By encouraging your kids to think about what they believe is fair and just, and how they contribute to their community, you can connect political participation to their own values,” Stern says. “Then you’re helping them understand the impact of their actions and fostering a lifelong engagement with the issues that they care about.”

Also keep in mind that, while you can try to raise your child with your own values, they’ll eventually become adults and make their own opinions and decisions. Parents will eventually need to step back and gradually relinquish control. That growing independence is a key part of growing up. Having kids with differing opinions can be a healthy sign that they’re thinking for themselves and staying on track with social and emotional development.

Model healthy conflict resolution

Often, parents put the kids to bed, work out an argument while they’re sleeping and make sure everything is fine when the family wakes up. Although this is well-intentioned, hiding conflict from kids can cause more harm than good because it means they don’t see a healthy resolution taking place. When political tensions are running especially high, such as during an election year, it can be helpful to model healthy conflict resolution for kids out in the open.

“Disagreements and conflict are a normal part of being a kid — ‘I want that toy; you want that toy,’” Zaslow says. “It’s oversimplifying a bit, but we're kind of the same way as a society. People have different preferences — and deeply held feelings — about what policies are best and who the elected officials should be. That’s OK, and we have to come up with a way to talk it out.”

The important thing to remember is to model healthy, respectful disagreement that doesn’t disparage or discriminate against others. Show kids that there are positive ways to interact with someone even if they don't have the same opinion.

For example, model curiosity for your kids. You might provide them with the following talking points for these situations:

• "I feel this way about this topic, but I’m curious to hear what your thoughts are.”
• “I’ve never thought about it like that before! I’m not sure I agree, but I want to hear more about why you feel that way.”
• “I’m surprised how strongly we disagree about this. Let’s change our topic of conversation for right now and come back to this after we’ve both had a chance to think it over more.”

These points can help kids mindfully approach conversations when they’re at school, on the playground or other places where there may not be an adult supervising. Emphasize that it’s important to hear other people out on the perspectives and stances, even if we don’t agree. Curiosity can lower defensiveness on both sides of a conversation and activate the deliberative part of our brains, creating opportunities to connect with others in interesting and unexpected ways. Parents can also prepare kids by explaining that there are lots of feelings and opinions, and that no one is 100% right or wrong.

Most of all, encourage kids to accept others and respect people who think differently than them. "Lean into the fact that we don't always have to agree, and that disagreement can be healthy as long as we manage it appropriately,” Zaslow says. “That’s true whether we’re talking about two people on the playground or about different factions in a community.”

Help children and teens stay informed through trusted sources

Parents and caregivers play an important role in teaching kids informed decision-making. Share with them the news sources you trust, why you find them trustworthy and how you came to that conclusion. If they’re old enough, show them how to research the answers to questions on their own and seek a balanced opinion by exploring various sources. When kids are talking about political topics at school and the conversations become emotionally charged, you can teach them how to lean into curiosity first, ask open-ended questions, check sources, verify facts and form their own understanding of the issue at hand.

Since social media has an outsized influence in our current world, you might also teach older kids and teens how algorithms may amplify conflict, which drives engagement online, and how they may see more of one perspective over another depending on who they follow or engage with. Additionally, kids should understand the power of influencers who may have a vested interest in whatever idea or organization they’re promoting. These are opportunities to explain how some people, groups and even news sources disagree about what is and isn’t true, and how that can make it hard to form an opinion. Show them how you decipher your beliefs by walking them through your process of critical thinking.

Engage kids in their civic duties

“Kids can't vote and they can't donate to candidates, but it doesn't mean they can't help or get involved in other ways,” Zaslow says.

He explains that, if civic engagement is a value you want to instill in your family, you can watch candidate debates, read news stories about ballot measures or candidate positions on the issues that matter to your family and discuss what you learn. Or you can take your child to an event supporting a candidate and encourage them to ask questions, such as what they’re going to do for kids if they get elected, or how they plan to improve schools or youth mental health.

“They can go knock on doors; they can write a letter to the editor in their local newspaper; they can write to a political official and just say, ‘Here's what's important to me. Will you consider doing X, Y, Z?’” Zaslow says.

In addition to accompanying parents and caregivers on civic missions, kids can also team up with their friends and neighbors to get involved in issues they’re passionate about. “Advocacy is a team sport. If you're a 7-year-old and you want to go change the world, doing it by yourself is going to be hard,” Zaslow says. “But one thing kids can do is team up with their friends. They can have a little house party, or they could set up a stand on a street corner, and that’s something kids at almost any age should be able to do.”

Older kids can get involved in student council at school, too, which provides an opportunity to advocate for change within an environment they know well. There are also numerous youth advocacy organizations they can participate in, such as the Colorado Youth Advisory Council or the Youth Advisory Council at Children’s Colorado, which organizes teens to share their voices about important decisions affecting patients. Additionally, older kids and teens can choose to get involved with issue-specific organizations, such as UpRISE, which unites youth around tobacco control and social justice. Parents can model such involvement and do their part to stand up for kids by getting involved in child health advocacy in public policy. Kids aged 16 or older who are eligible can take advantage of pre-registration.

Political participation, in whatever form, may offer psychological benefits. When kids feel empowered to make a difference at a young age and in their local community, they’re more likely to stay engaged with the social issues that matter to them throughout their lives.